Okay, so I got diagnosed, when I was in second grade.

I don't really remember much of it, but, like, this is what I've been told, you know, like, I don't remember being diagnosed, but I have been.

Well, I don't really remember much, but it was a bit of, I guess a shocking revelation, you could call it, because I didn't know that I had autism.

I thought I was just like everyone else.

I initially found out when I was tested, like, I think in sixth grade.

Now, keep in mind, I don't remember anything of sixth grade, or the subsequent being diagnosed of it.

All I know is I was diagnosed with it.

This was possibly due to a medication which I don't know the name of, but I gave it a nickname.

And that nickname is mostly because it made me forget it was named after a comedian.

I called it the Cosby pill because I don't remember jack diddly [censored] of my sixth grade year, So I didn't know I had autism until I was in high school.

I was in the nurse's office because of a, because of panic attack.

So.

And I asked my nurses about my conditions, and finally I came upon the I had autism.

I had no idea.

I knew I had ADHD, just not autism.

And, when the fact dawned on me, I was quite surprised and honestly kind of relieved because it did explain a lot of my certain behaviors towards, individuals that could either be unintelligible or in this case, like they they don't know what I'm saying.

So how I got into doing music is, I was only about eight years old when I first heard my, Daft Punk song called Technologic, which a lot of people may know from the Discovery album 2001.

I caught on to that, and for the longest time I was beatboxing as a kid, and I remember doing that.

And then I see a, I see a video about music producing.

So I go on there, I watch it, I'm fascinated.

And after listening to a couple of tracks from various artists, I got into the craft myself.

I started to remake, what are called Midi patterns or, music instrument device interface, which basically means that I am basically putting notes on, on a board that would trigger, certain aspects of sound or, language.

Well, yeah.

So it's very, very it gets very in-depth, like I've, written, some assembly code before, which is like very, very low level.

Then, you know, I'm another thing, I'm learning how to, well, work with Unity, which is the game engine.

Took a 2D game dev class last semester, taking a 3D class this semester.

I am for my senior project.

I am planning on making a game that's bigger than that.

So this was to take, like, the entire semester.

So, like, I'm working with two other people, to get that done.

Well, my family is unique in the sense that my dad's Chinese.

He was born in China, and his father was part of Tiananmen Square, at least here in the states protesting in front of the Chinese embassy.

And on my mom's side, I had two relatives who were in the military one of which had a brother who was in a Nazi P.O.W.

camp.

I guess the reason why I'm into history is self-discovery.

I want to know more about my family and ancestry.

I want to get to hopefully someday write a book about it.

Or write even a drama, dramatization of it, I guess.

Well, it first started during my sophomore year of high school.

I want to say where I first got into, you know, Photoshop and Illustrator, that kind of thing.

I just enjoyed, you know, making, making stuff in Photoshop.

There's so many fun things about graphic design.

It's a bit hard to think of, like just to settle on a favorite thing whenever, like, whenever I'm given, like a, I guess, a free project where I don't really have anything that I need to do that when I have like freedom to do everything else that's probably my favorite thing I want to say.

Well, I mean, I didn't know what college was going to be like.

Like, this is like my first when I first went to college, I went to, okay, I'm a transfer student.

I went to MCC first.

And like, I just really didn't know what to expect really.

I was like like like I had no idea what college is.

And I was kind of excited, kind of nervous, you know, like I didn't know what to expect when and like when I was actually, you know, going through, like, my first set of classes, my first semester at MCC.

You know, I kind of felt like, wow, I really am a college student.

That's like, this is kind of, you know, like, this is I never done this before.

This is kind of interesting It was more like, wow, there's so much stuff here that I'm not accustomed to like.

You have to keep in mind most of my school years tenure were in a private, really, really small, isolated bubble.

So isolated, in fact, that half of this stuff I have to learn on my own.

I don't know, I'm still learning half of this stuff, but like, The best way to describe it is if you were born Amish, but then decided not to be Amish anymore and going into the real world, like you see all this wonderful stuff, like all this huge stuff, and you find the possibilities of actually doing something, actually accomplishing a dream of yours.

Well, obviously my first thought was how different it was from high school being that like, you know, obviously the classes are way longer, so you have a lot more time to complete things.

But that also means that, like, you know, deadlines are shorter.

So when I went to college, I actually started out in, Johnson County Community College.

I was very, I was in my senior year high school.

It was my all time low.

I faced a lot of, bullying and harassment that, kind of changed my perspective on being friends with people.

And it's been a very hard, but rewarding journey to bounce back from that and actually build friendships with people and know that they trust me and that I trust them, that they won't do the same thing that people had done to me in high school.

What made me want to continue with the college experience is that I wanted to learn most of all, I wanted to I want to be able to operate equipment that I would never been able to do before at Johnson County Community College.

I love to make experimental music, like IDM, EDM, electronic music is one of my favorite pastime things to do while I'm not working on main line projects in the tech program.

Okay, so normal day day life for me is like, well, just a recent memory for this semester.

Just get up, get ready, and then, like, I normally eat before I go to any classes and then with this semester specifically, like, I don't eat lunch because my schedule just runs right through lunch.

So I don't have time for that.

Days like this and I don't have any classes, I work on homework that I need to get done.

If I do have that and otherwise I just like, you know, chill in my dorm not doing much For fun, I like, you know like I like, I like to scroll, scroll social media on my phone a lot.

I like, watch a lot of YouTube.

Like, I sometimes play, you know, some video games as, like, That's my major specifically is video game development.

It's pretty simple.

I live by a schedule.

I wake up usually at six, get to sometimes take a shower, sometimes just lay in bed, watching my iPad, then take a shower.

Or if our time, go to breakfast, take a shower afterwards, brush my hair and just wait until my first class.

Usually playing video games just like my favorite one being Skyrim.

a heavily modded Skyrim, which is really fun to do, but it's really frustrating when it breaks constantly.

Like one minute it works the second minute, it just breaks completely.

It just is annoying.

I like to talk a lot, which most people wouldn't think about people with on the spectrum, but some people, like some people on the spectrum, like to talk, some don't.

I personally, I am one to talk way too much for my own good.

A day to day routine it looks like, Well, first getting out of bed, as well as getting myself ready and, coming to class, being prepared on time and getting my assignments done, as well as to be a, to be a, just prepared individual for what classes I have.

Again.

So I like Warhammer a lot.

So I like to paint miniatures as well as draw.

I'm a line, draw line artist.

My day to day life usually just involves drinking coffee in the morning.

Depending on if I have homework or not, I'll be doing homework, like on my laptop back here.

Or just playing video games.

Really just depends on what I have to do.

I usually play a lot of Star Wars games.

Right now I'm into.

I am going through another Star Wars phase right now.

Well, like my favorite game to play right now is probably Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy.

I usually like to like when I'm super bored, like at at school.

I like to just draw random things.

It usually depends on what mood I'm in.

So you like to do LEGOs in your free time and stuff too?

Sometimes.

Yeah.

When I have, when I have the time to do so because usually you know it takes, it takes a long while.

Right now, I usually stick, I usually stick to something like, like aircraft design.

Occasionally I'll build spaceships but, I really don't think there are any, just real struggles that I've had with autism, except for maybe a bit of anxiety when it like when it comes to meeting new people, for example, I'm always a bit, you know, a bit anxious because I, I don't really know what to really say to them.

I think it has affected me like somewhat in the past, like I've like I was a lot more, I guess, crazy when I was younger, like when I was a kid, I used to do things that I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do.

I mean, there's always a social aspect, you know, like, you know, I think I, with my diagnosis, but, social anxiety is comorbid, you know, like, you know, a lot of you, you, you see a lot it's very it's typical to like, see, someone who's autistic or someone, that they also have like a social anxiety is very like comorbid.

Some people, individuals have this fear called the invisible audience.

People silently judging.

I have this feel constant constantly.

I feel every small action I take people, looking at me, laughing at me, talking behind my back.

Terrifying.

I tried to put on a brave face, try to be as kind, as positive as possible.

But it's difficult.

It really is.

Especially when you hear when people when you see people looking at you, you internalize that as, are they looking at me because I have something on my face or have or am I looking weird?

Do I have something, amiss about myself?

I was always the weird kid.

It took a while for me to kind of accept, that moniker.

Being the weird kid, Being the strange one.

But originally I was, But like I said, sixth grade was a haze, but seventh grade less of a haze?

But still Rather, Well,.

Angry.

I was angry at the world for basically screwing me over, I guess.

No.

Exactly.

I made amends to some people, some of which I actually ironically met outside of school, others I didn't.

And and if they are ever going to watch this, or something, I want to apologize.

Living with autism is both a blessing and a curse, I would believe.

Living with autism means that you are hyper fixated on the stuff you love the most.

However, on the other hand, you are, in essence, drawn away from the stuff you need to do, but it's still kind of evokes that creative side of my own craft and music as well as, audiovisual.

However, the spectrum varies, so sometimes it's very hard to, it's very hard to center yourself and be able to be in the present moment while, you know, someone's talking about some important event that's supposed to be happening.

What I find really effective is grounding, which means that putting your body in a situation where you're only feeling what's around you.

So, for instance, I'm tapping my feet right now, and just focusing on that.

And breathing.

Breathing is the most important thing about life, and it really centers yourself, when you do so.

I don't really think, like, there's anything different than a, neurotypical.

I just wake up, get ready, you know?

Whatever.

Just go about my day.

I don't think is any different than anyone else.

Well, in my case specifically.

Say you got, like, two people are like this.

One person is like, you know, autistic within other one's like neurotypical.

Basically, their brain is wired differently, more or less than the other guy.

There's that's basically this is the same thing like, ADHD or whatever.

Just like, yeah, it's just that their brain just works a little differently.

But that doesn't mean they're worth any less than, you know, the other neurotypicals, if they're both equal, They're both equal, you know?

I'd say it's, not much different to like anyone else.

Just like, you know, I think there's more perks about autism than negatives.

Like, you know, I have a good memory.

That's a pretty useful skill to have.

I think autistic people tend to be smarter.

I want to say they they tend to hear things differently, like like when I'm at when I'm at work, for example.

Usually I hear more of the the scanner sounds like, you know, the, the beeps and boops rather than the customers and the employees talking.

I would go on to tell them that people with autism don't have a filter in their brain, like like everyone else does.

They may interpret things differently.

They may hear things differently like I mentioned earlier.

I haven't really heard of many misconceptions other than, I guess, the fact that autistic people usually tend to be, I don't know, like mute, because that's not the case.

Not all autistic people are mute, as you can clearly see here, We are not all like Sheldon Cooper.

We are not good in math.

Some of us suck at math!

I can't explain this harder to anyone who wants to know about autism but we are not.

Not all of us are good at math.

Not all of us like trains.

Not all of us could do complex formulations in our head.

Some of us of geniuses in other ways, creatively.

Others are analytic.

My second misconception I want to bring up is vaccines don't cause autism!

You're not going to get autism by getting a little shot in your arm!

Same with Tylenol.

Tylenol helps pain!

misconceptions with autism Misconceptions with autism bother me to the point that it makes me furious.

How many times people believe in this!

Two big ones.

Tylenol and vaccines!

No, no, that's blatantly false.

Both of those are false.

No, Tylenol does not cause autism.

Vaccines do not cause autism.

No!

People with autism aren't self-centered.

They really want to get their ideas out there.

They really want to let people know, just how much joy and pride they have taking in with their own ideas.

Sometimes that can be seen as selfishness, but it's only because that of that factor of being, of being so interested in what you have to say that, it may not it may collide with other people's intentions or other goals.

I can't believe I'm almost done.

Like, what the heck?

Like, I feel like I just started college at MCC.

The hope is to be like a game developer, honestly.

But you know, like, you know, if there's anything else, you know, like, maybe I could work, you know, something else with like IT maybe I don't know.

You know, it's very up in the air, you know, just gotta find anything that will, you know, that I'm really suited for.

I'm going to get a job at the Smithsonian hopefully.

And hope- And maybe.

And this is a personal hope of mine.

Start an indie animation YouTube channel, I want a legacy.

I want to be the I want to be an individual who inspires other people.

I want.

I guess, I want not what Walt Disney had.

But I want to have something like the YouTuber Glitch Productions have.

I want to be that kind of gateway,that kind of voice to individuals.

I want to inspire others to follow similar paths to mine.

I want to be that voice of inspiration.

Well, most companies these days are probably going to want a four year degree.

Also, UCM has a sushi bar.

That's not that's not one of the main reasons.

I'm just I'm just joking.

But I also want to kind of end off like my college years with a bang.

I guess you're going to say.

I do plan on becoming like, you know, a full time graphic designer.

But I also am planning on maybe like writing some things, like, like, you know, like a series or something like that.

I plan to do sound design either for, either for other people in the studios for it could be video games, could be film soundtracks, could be just basic sound packs that I can sell to other people.

I do a lot of synth sound design myself and as well as Foley.

So my biggest goal is as a DJ and as a composer musician, My ultimate goal is to play at the Super Bowl.

It it would be probably a dream come true to stand in front of thousands upon thousands of people and be able to perform my music live.

It's one of my greatest passions.

And, creating music, showing music, the side of me that allows me to be who I am.

It really captures the moment when you are present there on the stage, doing your thing.

I mean, autism isn't really a bad thing.

It just means, like, well, you're learning more about yourself then, you previously knew about yourself.

And, like, the diagnosis and the diagnosis can probably, you know, like, help you, like, figure out why you act a certain way in certain circumstances.

So if anything, I think a diagnosis is a good thing.

Different doesn't mean bad.

Don't let it.

Don't let anyone else who who says like, you know, "Oh, autistic people are bad!"

That's that's that's just simply not true.

Don't listen to them.

One thing I want to say is if any people on the spectrum is watching this Life is an adventure.

And most often than not, the sometimes the really bad stuff that seem likereally crummy stuff that happened one day can become really funny the next.

Don't preconceive autism as one singular thing.

Think of it as a wide array of individuals and personality types.