(gentle music) - I am non-binary and trans.

I didn't always go by trans.

That was more of a recent development as more people are like, oh, non-binary and like gender fluid.

They're under the trans umbrella.

And it does feel like it fits.

Like I usually will say I am like trans non-binary 'cause most people also say like trans mas, trans fem.

So trans non-binary is kind of the label I go by, I guess.

I'm a student at the University of Central Missouri.

I also work at KMOS, the PBS station on campus.

Outside of work and school I am the secretary of the Media Creators Association, which is a club for media students.

And then I'm also the president of the UCM Cinema Society where we do some film screenings.

Because of my identity, I haven't necessarily experienced direct hostility.

No one has been like outright transphobic, which I think is a common sentiment nowadays.

It's not as common for people to be outright bigoted.

It's more so, you know, the occasional person who will refuse to use the correct pronouns for people, refuse to use the correct name.

So it's not direct hostility, but it's kind of like those microaggressions, like the little things that invalidate trans people.

I realized not a whole lot of people are talking about this.

There's a lot of it that's just like pushed under the rug.

Trans people exist.

They have existed.

They exist in Missouri, but there's so much stuff going on right now that's just burying them.

At UCM, I found that it's perhaps surprisingly very supportive.

I started at a larger university in Missouri that was definitely more of a city.

So I was worried to kind of go to a smaller town.

But UCM has actually been really supportive.

When I changed my name my second semester here, all my advisors were really understanding.

They helped me, you know, fill out forms so it would show up on like Blackboard and stuff.

And for the most part, all my professors have also been really like strong about getting, you know, the pronouns right, getting the name right.

(gentle music) (upbeat music) - I currently work at KMOS at the University of Central Missouri.

I'm a production specialist, and I'm also a student at UCM as well.

My gender identity, I currently am kind of like in between non-binary and gender fluid.

I was gender fluid for a while because I did feel like it fluctuated on how masculine and feminine I presented, but then it kind of was like this, a lot of work.

And so I kind of went back to non-binary because that feels the most right for me.

- I work as a production specialist at KMOS PBS, and that's on campus at UCM.

I go usually just non-binary.

- I know that a lot of people that identify with the gender fluid or non-binary label are, like do identify as trans, but I don't know why I personally don't.

Maybe it's just 'cause I don't go outta my way to like change much about myself, and I don't think that I'm like transitioning.

I think I just always have been non-binary, and there's nothing that I need to like transition to.

Like, I'm not saying that like people can't.

Like I honestly don't care.

That's just my own thing.

I don't personally, but I think about it sometimes.

- To me it's definitely a kind of transition into a whole new person, a whole new identity.

So I do consider myself.

- I haven't really run into a lot of like transphobia or like anything super negative.

In the school that I went to, everybody kind of was like on a basis understanding of nobody knows what's going on, and we're all trying to figure things out together.

The only thing I had was like people were like, "But I knew you as she."

When I like when I would tell them like, "Hey, I use they/them pronouns."

"Like I don't want to use that.

Like I knew you as this."

Like I'm very privileged to say that I never got bullied in middle school or high school.

I never had that be a big issue for me.

Like the most conflict I ever had was within like my own family.

- I would say I started to identify, I guess, I wanna say like maybe four, three years ago.

Obviously I kind of had the feelings, but I couldn't really put the words to them beforehand, and I haven't met I guess direct confrontations about what I identify as, but you can kind of just tell in very subtle ways how people change.

And just like ordering food and like being the only one they mess up the food on.

At UCM, I think it has been sort of accepting in some small communities.

There's obviously different clubs, and they have set up like a whole room and board situation for people who identify as different things on the spectrum.

And so there is some support in terms of what UCM has done, but at the same time it still feels lackluster in a way where it's like, yeah you have, we're gonna put you in this area together, but it's still kind of separate.

So it's kind of an up and down situation.

Most people I've met have been friendly, but that's because the other people don't want to interact with me at all.

- The trans environment like here at school, it's not horrible I think, but I also don't really tell a lot of my professors that I use like Sam.

Like my online class, the only reason I told one of my professors that I used Sam is because he had had me in his class prior.

I know that there are some professors that I've had that I've told that I go by Sam, but they just kind of either forget or just don't remember.

I don't know.

I don't think a lot of the professors go out of their way to like do it intentionally.

I think they just forget 'cause they have so many students.

But it does hurt a little.

But I think there's a really great community here that is very supportive.

It's pretty comforting to know that there are a lot of professors that are open to it.

I know that there are some professors that are part of the LGBTQ, which is very nice.

- I would say the professors are very understanding.

Every professor I've had thus far talks about pronouns, stuff like that.

They give you that option to kind of express yourself if you wish.

And in terms of peers, it's been a little bit more difficult.

You have to kind of be careful about who you talk to.

There's been multiple people who I thought were really cool at first, and then you start talking and being more open about who you are, and you see that kind of click where they no longer see you as the same person, and that's pretty difficult to kind of deal with and make close friends with.

It makes you worry about being close to someone.

There is a large community here, I think, of people, but there's also a lot of people who, this is a very small town.

This is a very small campus.

Most of the people who I've met who came here live nearby, have lived in this area, and they aren't incredibly educated about the topic, and that causes some weird interactions, I guess you could say.

- So it's hard to give an exact answer because I'd spend a lot of time with like other LGBT, like people within my personal community, like my classes and like my work environment.

I usually stick to those people.

So I am not super well-versed in how people act outside of my friends or my little bubble of safety.

I've met great people, and I haven't met anyone that's been like outwardly homophobic or transphobic, but also maybe I'm just not in that area of the school, so I have no idea.

(upbeat music) - PRISM is a student organization at the University of Central Missouri that focuses on providing a safe space for members of the LGBTQ+ community and providing opportunities to speak with other members of the community.

PRISM normally meets on Wednesdays at 6:30 in the union auditorium.

Typically we do different types of party games and stuff like that.

Just providing a fun experience for our student members.

We'll usually talk about upcoming events, important information.

The main focus is just providing a space for people to be themselves even if it's just for an hour.

We have the lavender lounge as a safe space in and of itself for anyone who wants a space to pretty much do anything, whether that just be having a place to hang out with other people.

We have books for plenty of different topics, whether that be queer health, queer stories.

- PRISM's just a place where you can go and be whoever, whatever you wanna be for at least an hour of your day.

Even if teachers and students don't mean to, sometimes they just come off as a little offput by it, and I know most of them don't mean it.

But it's one place where you're around people, even if they don't identify the same as you, they are there to support you and there to be like, "Oh, you wanna try this outfit today?

We can try that for today."

And it's not a judgment, it's just a, we're gonna do it for you.

When I came to campus I knew PRISM was there, but even then I was worried it was gonna be like I'm just gonna be here, know nobody, and have like singular friend and not really know anybody else.

So it's nice to be able to go somewhere that there are other people like me, and they are out and happy with who they are.

- The people that I've interacted with, at least from recent memory, haven't really had any issues with my identity or done anything that I can remember being like transphobic in any way.

Although I'm unsure if that's purely just luck, or if it's just because most people who end up going to college campuses tend to be more open-minded.

I, at least in my experience, feel that I've found UCM to be a good place for trans people.

- I notice teachers sometimes, they don't mean it, and I know they don't, but they mess up my pronouns, which is fine, but it's nice if they try to like get it right.

They're supportive in their eyes.

They will say the right name 'cause they have to, especially the teachers.

They'll say your right name, and they'll try to get the pronouns right, which is very nice.

I've only also only been here a semester, so I only have a handful of teachers, and all of them have been very nice so far.

But the students I notice sometimes, especially just 'cause we're in Missouri, I notice some people, sometimes I get the weird look, whether it be because I'm talking about being trans and not trying to be closed off about it, or because if I dress weird or not how a trans person dresses.

I get a look, and I just kinda have to brush it off and accept it, accept that that's how Missouri is.

It's not like in a book or in a movie where it's like some kid shoved me into a locker, came up to me and like called me a slur.

It's not like that.

They do think that they are accepting, and yes they are accepting, but it's the bare minimum of accepting, and I don't think some people realize that it is the bare minimum of acceptance.

- I will admit I do tend to mask my identity just out of fear of like someone not being the best about it.

I understand where people are coming from regarding how people in the LGBTQ+ community can feel kind of hidden.

I understand the idea, and honestly I kind of agree with it.

It does feel like I'm, and a lot of other people feel hidden when it comes to like campus goings on.

- Growing up feeling like I have to hide my identity has been a pretty common theme.

I feel like that's a common theme among a lot of trans people.

But like I'm still not out to my dad.

I came out to my mom hours before she died because I didn't know if I'd have another chance, and it was kind of like a cop out 'cause she couldn't respond to me.

When it comes to how I feel, I always felt the need as a non-binary person to look completely androgynous to feel like I actually am non-binary, which is really hard.

'Cause whenever I would look up like androgynous outfits or clothing, they'd all be skinny people.

It's just kind of hard to not see your own type of representation in like any media from non-binary people like at all.

So I always felt like I wasn't androgynous enough, so I felt like I didn't fit that exactly.

I felt like I didn't deserve that title.

So it took me a long time to accept the fact that I am non-binary and I am who I am.

I do feel like I should hide it because I don't like show it well enough, so no one's gonna take me seriously.

- I think the university could do a lot more for trans students if they just promoted maybe some education and just having events that are public.

A lot of the things that they have right now are very hush hush and hidden away, and that's, I get partly for protection, but it also still gives the feeling that this is something to be hidden.

This is something that you're never gonna be safe about, and I think that's well-intentioned sort of.

It also still gives that kind of toxic environment where it's you're never safe.

- So the UCM drag show has been around for, this was its 11th year that it was on campus.

In the last 10 years there had been between typically 800 and 1,000 students who would come each fall to the drag show.

And so it would be a really big event.

I think in terms of the university and how the university has supported it, it gave an opportunity for people to engage in something that they might have not been ever been exposed to.

About two weeks before or a week and a half before the event was supposed to happen, the president of the university decided to make the decision that the university would not use university monies to host this event.

I personally think it's very important, and I know there's a lot of faculty on campus who think it's really important to be able to show support to LGBTQ students as well as just having that out there for the students.

I was incredibly disappointed.

As a member of the faculty who identifies as LGBTQ under that umbrella, I think there needs to be, especially in this time, support for students.

I think that the decision was made by the president, was that he was really trying to ultimately make sure that we weren't being targeted because of that.

I think that there have been very negative repercussions, negative repercussions to the students to feel like they aren't supported, repercussions to faculty and staff to feel as though they aren't supported.

We are at a university.

A university is here to expose people to things that might be different.

Whether those things are seen as liberal, whether those things are seen as conservative, the university is to provide a safe space for that to happen.

- It'd be nice if almost like in more curriculums, like in like psychology or something like that, there was like a chapter about queer psychology, or genders of psychology.

Just something to touch on the fact that like straight cis is not the only thing that's gonna be taught at a school.

- I will say at the very least, PRISM has been trying to provide a space to kind of push against that idea of being hidden.

It's not perfect, I'll admit.

No solution is perfect, but I feel like it's at least something to push against that feeling of being hidden.

- I mentioned in class before that one of the things I do love to do here is go to PRISM 'cause it's a space where I feel safe.

And like all of my classmates were just like, what's PRISM?

And I couldn't explain it any other way besides essentially a GSA.

Which yes, it is, but it's a bit more.

I feel like queer kids are kind of put in a corner or said like you can be queer-ish.

To an extent you can be yourself.

'Cause even me, I'm not out at work.

I'm employed at the school.

I wrote down my name, my chosen name, and I just haven't corrected it 'cause I work for a sports team.

So it feels like I'm not allowed to be different.

- At our job, if they fill out the harassment and policy, they call it like sensitivity training at like a corporate job.

I think having something like that would be really nice, or good at least to have most of the student body or all of the student body have to do like when, like every year.

So they have like a remembrance like, hey, there's people here that like are that.

Don't forget that.

- I feel like it helps to normalize the existence of people in the community and show that, hey, we're people.

We exist.

We're not a danger to others or yourself.

Just show that we're normal people just trying to live our best lives.

- If you wanna be supportive, go learn what people are actually going through.

Go to PRISM, go to GSAs, go to outside sources or like things outside the school as well that have a population of queer people, and learn what the hell they're going through.

'Cause otherwise you're just sitting in your own bubble blissfully unaware of what other people are going through and what we have to struggle with every day.

And if you go to things where you're surrounded by the queer people, you realize, shit, I didn't realize that like these things were wrong, and you probably will change your behaviors.

It's different, but if it makes you uncomfortable it's probably doing something good for you.

(gentle music) - The anti-trans legislation that's rolling through red states like Missouri is a big reason why I started this documentary.

I feel very fortunate to have such a strong support system.

Pretty much everyone in my family is perfectly fine with my identity.

Definitely all my friends.

They, you know, adapted to the new name, the new pronouns, no hesitation.

So I feel very lucky to have that, but I know it's not like that for all people.

And I really wanted to highlight like, what is this legislation doing to people?

What is the damage that it's having?

Because there is damage.

- We're uniquely centered in this political debate that is happening throughout the United States, and the polarization of people who believe one way and people who believe another way.

I think that that's really tearing at the fabric of us as a community.

You can't just say like you don't have a right to be.

And I think that there are so many people right now that feel like they can say you don't have a right to live your life.

That's very concerning to me, and I think we find it all coming kind of to a head on a university campus where you have a lot of different voices and a lot of different pressures that exist.

- I've been pretty scared about some of the ideas that have been thrown out by these bits of anti-trans legislation.

I've followed it quite a bit, mainly just because I want to make sure that I'm safe, and that my partner is safe, and that those that I care about who are a part of this community stays safe.

- It just kind of goes back to what I've kind of been repeating is just trying to keep this real issue, these people away and hidden.

Because if you can hide them, they don't have a voice.

They're not real.

And if it's not real, it's no issue to discriminate against them because you know.

And it's just kind of hard because I have a lot of friends who are extremely worried about this.

They are having panic attacks, and they, you know, very deep depressions.

This is a serious thing that's not just a law, it's actively harming people today right now.

- I should know more as someone part of the LGBT community.

It directly affects me, and my friends, and like anyone like around.

Like it matters, but what ended up happening is every time that I would look at it on my For You Page, or on my like Instagram feed or anything like that, it would just like destroy my mental health.

It would make me feel horrible.

And I ended up kind of being like, okay, I know this is important.

I can't be looking at this every day.

Whenever it comes to like really negative things or things that are bad that are happening in the world, I tend to look at it when I'm in the right space to do so, and that isn't very often unfortunately.

So I needed to make sure that I was taking care of myself before I put in any emotional effort to look into that.

- For me, as someone who like just started to come out as trans like a year ago, it's so scary now that I'm like, oh, I finally came out.

I can be who I am, and like finally be accepting of myself, and like start to go towards what I wanna be, and then everything is just seemingly telling me, you can't do that 'cause it's wrong.

And I know it's not wrong, because who's gonna tell me what to do?

But it's not up to a cis person to tell me, a trans person, what I can and cannot do with my body and with my hormones.

If I ever have like a child or like a niece or nephew, and they come up to me and say like they're trans, I might not be able to help them and say "You can do this.

You can change yourself and be happy with yourself."

It's scary to think that that's almost the direction everybody wants us to go in when that's so horrible.

- [Chanter] Who we are!

- [Audience] Who we are!

- [Chanter] So we tell them!

- [Audience] So we tell them!

- [Chanter] We are Missouri!

- [Audience] We are Missouri!

- [Chanter] Mighty Missouri!

- [Audience] Mighty Missouri!

- [Chanter] Fighting for freedom!

- [Audience] Fighting for freedom!

- [Chanter] Freedom and justice!

- [Audience] Freedom and justice!

- As a trans person who works in Missouri, this is my fight.

This is my family.

People I care about are under fire.

So here I am.

(crowd yelling) - Are under attack.

What do we do?

- [Audience] Stand up, fight back!

- What do we do?

- [Audience] Fight back!

- To the state representatives who are trying to pass these bills, I would simply say, I recognize that there is a place within you that believes you are formally, truly doing the thing that you think is best, but you cannot get what you think is best from books, or from sermons, or from pastors.

You get them from the mouths of the people who you're affecting.

And we are simply saying that what you're doing is killing us.

Please listen to us.

(crowd cheering) - Well I'm here with the St. Louis Queer+ Support Helpline.

We're a community-based organization in St. Louis.

We do mental health, peer support, and community events.

It's a non-hierarchical organization, and I'm very passionate about it.

It's pretty transparently obvious that this isn't about science, or best medical practice, or actually caring about the best interest of the youth.

This is pretty blatantly about hate and prejudice.

I would say that it, you know, if there is any room in them for growth, that getting to know some trans youth (crowd cheering) in a meaningful way would probably be in their best interest to better understand what it's actually like and what's at stake when you deny people life-saving healthcare.

(crowd cheering) - I work for PROMO, which is the LGBTQ+ Public Policy and Advocacy Organization.

We fight and defend for the rights of our community within our state government.

I specifically am the communications director for the organization.

So with PROMO, we do a variety approaches for advocacy and strategy.

The first is direct communication and lobbying with inside the state government.

So that's having conversations with representatives, having conversations with senators, and educating them on the issues that actually affect LGBTQ+ people, and also how their laws or their bills will impact the community.

The other portion of it is building power, and that's a really abstract way of saying that we are giving the tools and resources to advocates within their local communities.

That might be helping them fund a text bank or a phone bank.

That might be providing them with volunteer power.

It could also mean that we are giving them toolkits to be able to do deeper work within their own communities and mobilize people inside their communities that they might not otherwise be able to.

And then the last portion is to be able to allow and educate people to be able to understand who they need to vote for in upcoming elections so that we can have people within our state government that actually have the values of equality and progressiveness.

So the protest itself is a really good example of how coalition building works to a greater advantage.

That protest that happened at the state capitol brought over 700 people to the state capitol.

And from what we heard from the state capitol police, it was one of the largest, or if not the largest protest that they have seen in the last five to 10 years.

But we weren't able to do that without allowing other networks such as Planned Parenthood, the ACLU of Missouri reach out to their individuals and say, hey, this is happening.

The organization part of the protest happened through PROMO, but we were able to delegate alongside with our other partners and say, hey, you have a better outreach strategy.

Can you handle sharing it on social media?

Can you put it in your email?

Same thing for connections to safety.

We had Planned Parenthood's clinic escorts that essentially acted as human safety precaution tape, if you will.

So that's just an example of kind of how we all work together in one collective space in order to mobilize across the entire state.

What PROMO did in terms of communications, and what I did in that role is build out the speaker set list of who was going to speak, how much time they got, as well as rolling social media live on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.

There was also, session was happening at the same time.

So legislators and senators were coming on and off the floor in order to be able to be part of this protest and rally.

In order to combat the laws that go through the legislature, we organize the community in meaningful ways, whether that means showing up to testify when it comes to a public hearing.

The first hearing this year was I think January 19th, but there were nine anti-LGBT+ bills heard in one day.

Within the 4:30 p.m. session hearing, it went until about 1:45 in the morning the next day because there were so many people that were there to testify against these bills, and that's the power of of community in and of itself is to be able to stand up and say, we're gonna take a good majority of time away from you to doing anything else because you want to put these hateful bills out there.

You're gonna listen to us and you're gonna hear these stories about how these bills are actually going to affect you.

And then from there it's encouraging people to contact their representatives.

We'll host text banking and phone banking events where they will literally sit there and call their representatives, call the people that are on the committee hearings to really kind of reinforce that message of, you're doing the wrong thing, and we need you to take a look at what you're doing.

- I am the interim executive director at the Metro Trans Umbrella Group here in St. Louis City.

What the Metro Trans Umbrella Group is, is basically a trans-led nonprofit that tries to connect trans people with as many resources as possible.

We do that through, we have a community center in St. Louis where we offer free clothes, free food, we help people with their name change documentations and gender marker changes.

We work with Planned Parenthood to help people get telehealth meetings.

We also have Vivent Health come in here to do STD and STI testing.

We do a litany of community events, proms, concerts.

We're getting ready to do our big fundraising telethon coming up in December.

We do a lot of trans one-on-one training for businesses just to kind of educate people on who trans people are and like how to treat us and things like that.

And MTUG has a lot of many different kinds of like identity support groups, and some for trans mas, or trans fem, or non-binary, non-conforming.

And I mean this is, these are groups for people to come in even if they're just questioning, to have a meet trans people, and like be with people who are like them, find a sense of community and emotional support.

A lot of people find some of their best friends in their lives going into these support groups.

They learn so much in how to help themselves and also how to help the community at large, and eventually like people, you know, get the tools they need to like actually advocate for themselves, which is so important.

Those support groups are just incredible and such a foundation of what this organization is.

Metro Trans Umbrella Group was founded in 2013 when three trans mas folk basically started a support group for trans mas individuals.

And that eventually grew into support groups for other people, other different identities and other different kinds of people.

And eventually it grew into what you see now, which is MTUG.

I'd love to be a lobbyist, but also people need just basic resources, and they also need that sense of community here, and that's kind of what we provide.

MTUG is sort of like a second home for people.

And anybody gives me a call who needs like, you know, a place just to be, or talk, or what have you, you know, you can come here.

All the support groups run out of this building you see here, you know, so.

It's an actual real exclusive trans space.

Because people don't really exactly understand who we are and what it means, and a lot of people take a lot of issue with it, people lose their families or at least lose the closeness that they have with their families.

A lot of people are kicked out.

And in a way people lose like heritage and culture along with that.

And so, you know, tends to really alienate people whenever they go through something like that.

What organizations like this do is provide a sense of community that people maybe didn't even know that they needed, and even provide a sense of culture.

I came into like this org as like a nervous little non-binary person, and I started going to a trans fem support group.

And I was shy and really uncomfortable talking about these sorts of things.

Really even uncomfortable with even referring myself as she/her pronouns or anything like that.

And through going to these support groups, to FEMSPEC support group, I was able to like talk with that, and sit with it, and like challenge myself in so many new ways.

And like it gave me the tools I needed to actually really like blossom in like the human that I really wanted to be.

I think it's helped me with my people skills and like with dealing with alienation in a much better way 'cause I don't feel alienated.

I feel like I actually have a community.

I feel like I have like siblings and things like that.

- Transformations is an organization that is first and foremost there to fight for the people who have never had anyone to fight for them, particularly trans women of color, but all trans people in this region that I think we all know is very hostile to trans life.

They're kind of an oasis.

Bell Hooks described love as advocating for the spiritual growth of somebody of other people unconditionally.

And I believe that that is what Transformation's, ultimately the mission is.

I think a lot of us who are more familiar with some of these terms tend to look at people who might not be as familiar and think, oh, what are you doing?

Just go Google it.

That's not always an option for some people.

I think Transformations exist, not just as a source of community, but also as a source of education.

There are a lot of things that most people who fit into the majority racial group don't even realize are problems for us.

And no matter how loud we seem to shout, it never really comes across because those experiences aren't translated for a lot of white people.

You have people who claim to be your allies who don't really listen to you, and then you have people who are your enemies who aren't really listening to you.

And then you have a bunch of people who are neutral, who are indifferent, and ultimately contributing to your plight just by the ignorance of the fact that our existence is harder, passing is harder.

The police are harder on us.

The housing inequality is worse for trans people of color.

I mean, I could go on.

I could go on and on.

- You know, I consider myself being a part of the Transformation family.

This is actually my first year that I've been associated with them.

I've actually been put in some leadership positions as far as some of the events that we've had.

Transformation is like the only trans, you know, I guess structured community here in Kansas City, which is ironic because a lot of the leaders don't even live here anymore.

So realizing that there's a lot of us who lack, I guess, community within, you know, our trans people.

Because you know, I feel like it's important because, you know, with us being leaders in the community and fighting for other people, like we need to have a base to where we're able to recharge, you know, with the people that are just like us.

- So The Dandylion Cafe has been around since March of 2022.

You know, it's really funny, I like to say that we're kind of a, we're a resource center, and a community outreach place like under the guise of a cafe.

We have great food, great drinks, like great events, things like that.

But what I really, really love is that the space has kind of become this, just by way of its own, and by way of the connections that I try to make and the people that seem to be drawn here, you know, we had a monkeypox vaccination clinic.

We're gonna be hosting a Narcan training coming up here in about a week or so.

We have our evening events where we'll do trivia, karaoke, live music, burlesque, drag brunches.

And all of those things I've realized over the last year plus aren't necessarily directly connected to or outreaching to the queer community.

But what I've realized is that a lot of folks who are members of the queer community will come out and participate in those things, that they wouldn't necessarily travel to Columbia to go do or feel super comfortable being out and about doing because they know they can come here, and they're gonna be safe to sing a Disney song at karaoke and no one's gonna make fun of them.

Everybody's gonna like really like cheer them on and stuff.

Truly the Dandylion has kind of become like a little hub for folks in the community who need just a little bit more than what they can find in their day-to-day, typical businesses that are in the area, especially in Ashland, Missouri.

So there's very little outside that cisgender white heterosexual norm box that exists all around us in the area in general, but in Ashland specifically, it's definitely provided a resource for folks.

So right now the environment that we're in is obviously really hostile, and really scary, and really unpredictable.

And it's that unpredictability that I think people really underestimate.

- It's so stupid 'cause I feel like we're going through issues that we've kind of, I feel like we've already surpassed, but like it's, you know, with elections coming up, things are being brought back up as far as like all the LGBTQ+ like laws, and bills, and stuff like that, everything related to legislation.

- The environment for trans people right now is really incredibly dangerous.

It's very volatile.

Not only just from the beginning of session this year, but we saw the first bill come through legislative session about four or five years ago.

And it was a simple bill that many people may not have batted their eyes at.

It was just bathroom bills and whether or not someone should be able to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity.

But it's gotten to where we are today where we have 55 anti-LGBTQ+ bills filed within the state government, and the majority of those attack the transgender community.

And we've gotten to a place where both two of the most violent bills have passed and were enacted this last August, taking away the access for transgender healthcare as well as not allowing transgender athletes from participating in sports.

And we're talking about kids as young as kindergarten all the way through college.

- The environment for trans people in Missouri is scary, it's alarming, it's petrifying.

- It's a region where you have a lot of very, very old lawmakers who have a lot of old, and outdated, and idiotic prejudices, and they are actively putting those into law.

And I think a lot of people, cis people included, feel helpless to do anything about it because I think a lot of us are fatigued.

- I don't know if y'all recall the attorney general rule that happened back in April.

It was horrifying and oddly beautiful at the same time where you have everybody coming together, and communing, and holding space for each other, but we're all like terrified, you know?

And we're all still terrified, especially with like, you know, the recent legislation that's been passed.

I don't think anybody believes that this just stops with the kids, and it should never even started with the kids anyways.

- It sucks 'cause I feel like we're being used right now to get votes in a way.

And I feel like those votes come from lack of knowledge, you know, lack of education, and sometimes just ignorance, you know, so.

- So the very, when we look at just the two bills that passed by itself, the first one, and if we talk about the sports ban, which a lot of people, you know, may not understand why this is such an important bill or why it was so egregious.

The first portion of it is that it takes away the ability for children who are as young as kindergarten from experiencing a part of everyday school life, a part of a holistic educational approach of how someone can enjoy school.

Sports can be a very important part of that development process, whether it's, you know, as simple as like recess or physical education classes.

From there though, when we look at colleges, it also reduces their ability, transgender athletes' ability to participate in opportunities meant for them to succeed.

Same thing with the transgender healthcare ban.

It takes away the ability for trans youth as well as adults who are low income trans adults and adults that are incarcerated from their ability to access care.

In general, the theme is we are restricting the ability for these individuals to be able to thrive and actually succeed in our state.

That's the big takeaway from all of the bills in general.

It really hinders someone from being able to thrive and actually be the best self that they can be because they can't access the things that they need to be able to access.

- The problem with these bills is, like what I was saying before, it adds to that alienation.

What happens, especially when we're talking about like taking trans children out of the sports that they wanna play, is you're alienating them from something that they wanna be doing.

It's very unlikely that a trans person is going to just say, "Okay, I'll just go play for the other side," if they feel uncomfortable to do that.

So now they've lost this connection with the sport they probably held so dear to them.

And what do you replace that with, you know?

Where is the safe spaces for this person to be trans and to like, you know, show off themselves, or like compete in a way that they want to?

You can't constantly be segregating these people into, oh, here is your side over here.

You're allowed to go over here.

Like, it makes people feel unwanted.

It makes people feel like there's something wrong with them when there's just not.

- We have a sign here in the cafe that says "Gender-Affirming Care Saves Lives.

This is not open for debate."

And it started a couple of conversations with some folks that I think were really, really important to have, because a lot of people don't even know what the phrase gender-affirming care means.

And so this space is able to kind of provide that stepping stone for folks in the community who are curious, and are allies, and are supportive, and have learned over the last year that they can ask me questions, and I will be honest with them, and their questions aren't gonna be considered stupid.

And so we're able to provide that.

Now I just try to be an ear for my friends who are transgender and on gender-affirming care, but I've, you know, there've been multiple people who have moved out of the state completely.

And that to me is really scary because what's left behind is a bunch of ignorance.

And those of us who either can't leave or are not willing to leave because of our position in the community providing support and resources.

- I know so many people who are moving out, moving away, people who have lived it all their lives.

I know family with a trans daughter who have been here forever, been like amazing support systems for our community and done so much work to help trans people thinking about leaving just because of how unsafe they can be to even just be here.

It's a real reality.

- One of their goals that they won't say out loud, but one of their goals is that they wanna make it so that no one can get hormones and that no one can ultimately transition through HRT.

People are still gonna be able to transition, whether that's getting their hormones from India or just like going back to the old ways and like no hormones, but like, I'm still a woman, I'm still gonna present as a woman.

And I think that's another thing is trying to ban drag, trying to expand the definition of drag to anyone who is a cross-dresser, trying to really make it seem like we're grooming children.

I'm trying to live my life, and we have lawmakers, legislators, and people who are either in directly maliciously or being misguided into supporting them.

- You know, with them being so loud and the hate against, you know, us, it makes me sad.

Like, and I know there's people out here actually dying because of that.

- The biggest thing that I wanna tell legislators is that this is not about protecting children.

It's not about protecting women's sports.

If it was, we would be talking about a lot of other issues that are actually affecting those people's lives.

If we're talking about protecting women's sports, then we need to talk about equal pay.

We need to talk about sexual harassment that lives within women's sports, and things that are actually threatening people's very livelihoods.

When it comes to protecting children, we also need to talk about the fact that here in Missouri we have a terrible, I guess, epidemic almost with education.

We are lacking the amount of teachers that we need in order for students to be able to have the education that they deserve in our state.

In addition, there are school shootings.

We have done nothing in terms of that in Missouri.

There was even a law this year that would allow state funding to be able to provide in classrooms kits that would help stop bleeding or like advanced medical kits for teachers to be able to use in classrooms should something happen.

That never even got discussed because they were hellbent in attacking the LGBTQ+ community.

- We can see that there are bigger fish to fry.

Like rural places are dying, but you're not doing anything to actually give them life.

Instead you're just giving them a false enemy.

- You wouldn't deny your kid care if they turns out they have diabetes.

You would want to get them the care that they need for that.

If your child has like a stage, you know, four cancer, you want to get them that care.

It's the same thing with, you know, gender-affirming care.

You do not want to deny them something that could be life or death.

- Imagine if someone told you that you couldn't be yourself, you know, in the morning.

Like whatever you feel like makes you be yourself.

You know, if it's your hair, what if you had to shave your hair off?

If you can't wear a suit, What if you had to wear a clown suit every day, or you know what, if you're a father, what if your kids get taken from you, your wife get taken from you, everything that makes you feel like you, if someone told you that you could not be that tomorrow, would you be okay with that?

Would you be okay letting your kids not be who they wanna be tomorrow?

- Out of the 55 bills that were filed this year, only two of them passed.

Unfortunately, it is the fact that those two bills are probably the most violent out of the bunch, but we knew from the very beginning that that was their priority.

Every single branch of the government was hellbent in getting these through the finish line.

We had the legislature who did everything that they could, the attorney general who expanded his own power to be able to try and do his own thing and circumvent the legislative process.

We had Governor Parson threatening the legislative body saying, "If you don't pass these, I will call you back into session into a special session to get this passed."

And so within all of that, it is very helpful to contextualize that only two bills passed, even though those bills are again, the most egregious that we've ever seen.

- For me, the hope comes from the reactions that I see in the faces that come in here and in the stories and the anecdotes that folks who have been in this area a long time will tell me.

You know, we have the leader of the Boone County Democrats comes in here quite regularly, and she, every time she talks about the space, she cries because she's from around here, and she's like, every time I drive by, I just think about how far Ashland has come.

And to think about the fact that the young people in this town now have a space like this, it would've changed my life, and it would've changed so many lives of the people that I grew up with.

- The biggest thing that allies can do right now is turn their visibility into tangible action.

Back 10 years ago when we were talking about marriage equality, the biggest item was, how can I be visible?

How can I show my visible support for the community?

We're now at that point where visibility is no longer enough.

It's great.

Everyone expects the very bare minimum, which is visibility.

From there, it needs to turn into tangible action.

And that looks different for every single person.

It might be, hey, I am keeping myself informed so that I know what is happening within my government.

It could also be signing petitions.

It could be showing up to testify in our state government.

It could also just be checking in on your friends.

You know, like the very basics of just being like, hey, this is a really tough time.

How are you doing?

How can I help you in this moment?

And really show some compassion and empathy towards your fellow human beings.

- Show up, listen, and act.

We need action more so now than ever.

Talk to trans people.

Please talk to us.

We will talk.

Obviously, we'll talk, and talk, and talk until our faces are blue.

And if you listen to what we have to say, I think you'll find that a lot of us are kind people.

A lot of us are very patient, and a lot of us are actively willing to educate you even if it isn't our job.

- I feel like we live in a world where we kind of have to hide some of ourselves, and that's not a fun place to be.

So just love all your trans people.

- Please donate to trans organizations, please.

Organizations like Squish, organizations like PROMO who are doing a lot of the, the work to lobby for us.

I guess you could donate to MTUG so we can, you know.

Food, and clothes, and toiletries we always need, so.

And volunteering time to help out.

And also like when you have somebody in in your life who is spouting off an opinion that is negative towards like trans people, challenge them.

You don't have to be rude about it, but like have that conversation, and like look for the nuance, and like, you know, talk with people.

It's very hard for us to advocate for ourselves when we're already kind of being othered and being like we are inhuman anyways.

But when we have cis folk that come and advocate for us, it really does help get the point across.

(gentle music) - In general, what I would say to LGBT people kind of is that you don't have to prove your identity to anyone.

You don't have to fit in.

And whatever you feel is valid.

If it changes, that's valid too.

- There isn't like a requirement you have to meet.

Your feelings and your identity is 110% valid all the time.

And it's gonna suck to tell people that are gonna be rude about it.

They will be.

Unfortunately that's just the reality.

People are gonna be mean, and people are gonna be harsh.

It'll be okay.

You'll find your people.

- I feel like an important thing to at least mention is that there's no right way to be trans.

Regardless of how you identify, whether that be non-binary, gender-queer, trans, whether that be trans fem, trans mas, any type of gender identity or sexual orientation, there's no right way to be yourself.

- You can also be trans, just been very feminine, or just have been with a boyfriend, or just have been all these things.

Just because you come out doesn't mean that what you were doing in the past makes you not trans.

I think some people forget that because they think, well, you were just dressing like a girl.

You just had a boyfriend.

You just were doing all these things, and now you're telling me you're not these things.

Things are changing because something is, I'm finally changing what I wanna be seen as in the world.

- I wanna tell them that there are people who do care, that there are people who do, that do support you, that there are individuals who behind the scenes as well as in front of the scenes are there to be a support.

They recognize that it's really not very good right now.

We tend to, in our society, the pendulum tends to go back, and it back and forth.

And so you take one step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, one step back.

We took some big steps forward, and I think that this is kind of that reaction to those big steps forward, and that eventually with engaging with one another, I really do hope that we get back to where we, everybody feels like they're a part of the United States, Missouri, and University of Central Missouri.

- Being trans is beautiful.

It's something that is incredibly unique and allows you to experience the range of human emotions and the human experience in a way that most people will never be able to understand.

The ability for you to look in the mirror and see yourself as you see yourself internally is a very beyond gratifying experience.

- Please reach out.

Please go to a support group.

Please find your local trans organization.

They want to help you.

They, you know, if you need food, if you need anything, if you're just looking for emotional support, they want to help you.

Please reach out.

Do not suffer in silence.

Find community, - Focus on the love.

Focus on the positive energy.

Focus on the fact that we are all we have ultimately.

To every beautiful black, brown, indigenous, Latina, Indian, Asian, trans person out there, person out there, stay safe, and I love you.

- I feel like a lot of us get caught up in wanting everyone to love us.

You know, I feel like there's a big importance of loving yourself.

'Cause once you find love in yourself, then nobody can tell you anything.

You know what I mean?

So just love yourself and get yourself mentally, physically healthy and find community.

- I want, if nothing else, to be taken away is that there are people here for you.

There's people who want you here and want to see you flourish in your identity.

Above all, please stay and find people because you are not alone even when it feels like it.

♪ It's been a full two years ♪ ♪ Why have I done nothing here ♪ (gentle music)